If your happy clap your hands!
by Cyricist001
Summary: Louise didn't really get what she wanted, but perhaps what she needed.


If your happy clap your hands!

I own nothing

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Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière felt the pressure like nothing before. Today, all of the students in the second year at the Tristain Academy of Magic would summon their familiars, all of the students gathered in the Vestri courtyard to perform the summoning ritual.

Louise had been trying to appear as small as possible, despite already being the smallest in her class. If she failed today...then her mother will probably kill her. She shook hear head, no even worse she will be disappointed.

Despite her bloodline, her magical ability was practically zero. Her classmates could cast the simplest of spells with ease, while she could only cause violent explosions, no matter what kind of spell she tried to perform. This earned her the nickname 'The Zero'.

"Now, has everybody performed their summoning?" Colbert asked

"Nope!" A voice called out from beside Louise, stumbling forward as the owner of the voice gave her a light shove. She whirled around, coming face-to-chest with Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt Zerbst.

Louse glared up at the darker skinned girl.

"Louise hasn't summoned anything yet," Kirche said.

Louise growled and turned away without responding, and walked to the summoning circle. As she approached, she couldn't help but overhear her classmates mutter to each other. Most had simply figured she just wouldn't summon anything, while others speculated the weird creatures that she could possibly summon.

"Are you ready Miss Vallière?" Colbert asked.

"I am," Louise nodded, drawing her wand. She took her stance at the circle, and held her arms outstretched with her wand in her right hand.

"_My servant that exists somewhere in this vast universe!"_

"_Oh sacred, beautiful and strong familiar spirit!"_

"_I desire and here I plead from my heart!"_

"_Answer to my guidance!"_

What resulted was exactly what everyone had anticipated: A sizable explosion that tore up the earth, and sent dirt and pebbles raining down on everyone in the area. The smoke started to clear slowly, revealing Louise sitting on the grass having been knocked over by the explosion, looking up she glanced something white behind the still remaining dust cloud.

As the dust cleared she almost had a heart attack, in front of her stood a man and judging from his dress he was a commoner.

As expected laughter started to fill the clearing, the students finding delight in her failure.

„Hahahah Louise summoned a commoner!" laughed Malicorne, a fat dot mage wit to much free time and not enough brains to keep quiet.

„Honestly Louise you never stop to amaze us" said Kirche, but still send a wink at the man in the clearing „at least he is good-looking"

Louise griped her wand, she had this strange desire to explode Kirche's face in, she restrained her temper and sighted.

„You commoner! Kneel!" she commanded

The man in the white cloths only raised an eyebrow „Ich verstehe dich nicht. Was ist das für eine sprache?"

Louise had enough, first a commoner familiar and now a Germanian...perhaps the Founder hates her „Kirche..." she growled.

The redhead only smiled and cast a translation spell.

„Do you understand me now commoner?" Louise asked

„Indeed, where am I? And who would you be?" he answered while still thinking where he was, or what the strange child meant with commoner.

She made a self-important pose „My name Is Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière, but you will call me master, now kneel so I can kiss you"

The man could only stare at her in confusion, _did the translation spell fail?_ thought Louise. That would have actually been good, since she could insult the Germanian harlot for a change.

„Sorry aren't you a little to young to be a dominatrix?" that comment made the crowd burst into laughter that much harder.

Her face went red in an instant „Why you insolen-" but stopped when professor Colbert cleared his throat and gained their attention.

„I'm sorry about all this but what Miss Vallière was trying to say is that you have been summoned as a familiar. You see when mages-"

He was rudely interrupted by Guiche „Ha, she probably hired the man to act the part. I don't believe she has the ability for any magic except making things explode"

That made the students start laughing again, but were quickly silenced by Colbert. On the other hand the newcomer raised an eyebrow at the comment and looked down at the midget. Turning back to the man Colbert frowned „My apologies, perhaps we should talk in the Headmasters office mister..."

The man in white took off his hat and did a small bow „Kimblee, Solf J. Kimblee at your service".

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AN: I presume everyone is familiar with the Crimson Alchemist? If not read the wiki.

Does anyone else beside me LOVE Diabolus ex Machina? I delight in characters and plots that start nice and progressively turn more twisted and deranged.


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